Big Bang 2011: Our Story is Infinite (3/6)

[errant-jane.livejournal.com]

The summer between Jared's junior and senior year of high school, he spent six weeks house-sitting for some friends of his parents. They'd just gotten a new puppy, but couldn't take her on the vacation they'd booked the year before, and they knew Jared was good with animals.

The puppy, Jasmine, was some sort of specialty breed that looked like a fluffy little Muppet teddy bear and was nearly small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. She was one of the most adorable things Jared had ever seen and every time he took her out for a walk, they would attract crowds of people. Everyone wanted to pet and play with Jasmine, and even the people who didn't stop to ask her name would smile at Jared and make some comment about how adorable Jasmine was as they passed.

Dating Jensen was a little bit like walking around with the world's most adorable puppy. People responded favorably to them, all smiles and willingness to help wherever they went. It was like Jensen lived in a bubble of joy, cheer, and goodwill towards everyone, and being with him made Jared a part of that bubble as well.

The funny part was, Jared wasn't entirely sure Jensen realized that people treated him differently. He was neither smug nor embarrassed about it, it was just how things were in his world. Jared wanted to tease him, but he wasn't sure if it would make Jensen self-conscious and he didn't want to do that. Jared suspected that he'd become exactly the guy he would've hated a few months ago, but he couldn't really bring himself to care. Life was good as a Jensen-loving pod-person.

"What do you say we stay in tonight?" Jared asked as he looked through the DVDs on the bookshelf. It had become a communal pool of movies, and Jared wasn't sure they'd be able to remember what belonged to whom when the time came to divide them back up. "Dude! Who owns Labyrinth?"

Jensen shrugged and flopped back on the couch. "Should we order pizza?"

"Yeah." Jared tossed Jensen his phone and said, "Speed dial three."

By some twist of dumb luck, they had the house to themselves for the evening and Jared wanted to take advantage of the privacy. For all the shit Genevieve and Chad had given him about his grudge against Jensen, now that they were dating, it was like he was living with three really overbearing parents. Granted, he may have had himself to blame for more than a few of their disapproving looks, but there was a line between making a point and just being a nuisance. He and Jensen rarely had the opportunity to be alone together, and somehow there was always someone around come bedtime to make sure they went to their separate rooms. Being team cockblocked was one of the least awesome things Jared had ever encountered.

The only thing keeping Jared from telling them all to go fuck themselves was the fact that Jensen hadn't given any indication that he was ready to take things forward in that department, and Jared had given him his word that he wouldn't push it. Consequently, Jared had been spending a lot of quality time with himself when he wasn't in class or with Jensen. Once he got the green light, though, no amount of disapproving looks from their roommates was going to keep Jared from taking full advantage of the situation.

"Don't tell me you're one of those people with the freaky kink for Bowie's pants in this," Jensen said once he'd hung up with the pizza place.

"Don't play like you don't find them oddly mesmerizing." Jared flopped down on the couch next to him and pressed play.

Things were going really well overall, but they definitely still had their awkward moments. Sitting in the semi-dark watching a movie was one of them. Jared wanted nothing more than to wrap his arm around Jensen and kiss his neck, push him down onto the couch and ignore the movie completely. Because he didn't know what level of touching was appropriate, though, they weren't touching at all, and Jared sat there only half paying attention to what was happening onscreen, preoccupied with his awareness of Jensen's proximity.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when halfway through the movie, Jensen turned and asked, "Do you think you could ever do something like that?"

"Um." Jared looked at Jensen, then back at the screen. "Rescue my infant brother from the Goblin King? Or ask him to be taken away in the first place?"

Jensen smiled, one of those private little smiles he had that Jared could never quite figure out. Like he was laughing at himself over a joke Jared had completely missed. "Rescue someone from the Goblin King, I guess. Without falling under the enchantment of his magic pants."

"Yeah." On a whim, Jared grabbed Jensen's hand and turned it over, tracing a heart into Jensen's palm with the tip of his finger. "If you were kidnapped by David Bowie, I would totally go to Goblin City to rescue you."

"Yeah?" Jensen looked overly pale and serious in the light from the TV, but he smiled when Jared nodded and turned on the couch, pushing Jared back against the cushions. "I won't hold you to that," he whispered, crawling between Jared's legs.

"What will you hold me to?" Jared grinned, pleased with himself when Jensen laughed. Then Jensen kissed him and Jared lost track of everything else. He groaned as Jensen moved over him, rolling their hips together as he slid his hands under Jared's shirt.

Making out with Jensen, Jared had discovered, was measurably better than full-out sex with other people. If that's as far as they went, Jared would be okay with that. More than happy. Jared would kiss Jensen all the time if he could. But, holy shit, he wanted it to go further this time. He actually, honest-to-God whimpered when Jensen kissed down over his jaw and throat, and then asked, "Do you want to take this back to my place?"

Before Jared could answer, the front door swung open, startling them both.

"Don't mind me," Misha said as he walked into the room. "My thing was cancelled. What are you boys up to?"

Jared shot him a dirty look and he was pretty sure Jensen had one to match it. Then Jensen ducked his head against Jared's shoulder and started to laugh. Jared supposed it was good that at least one of them was capable of finding humor in the situation.

"Why don't you go get ready for bed?" Jensen whispered against Jared's ear, gently biting the tip before he pushed away to sit up again. "We can watch the rest of the movie in my room."

"Sure." Jared sat up, giving Misha another dirty look for just standing there like a creepy weirdo while he and Jensen sorted themselves out. "I'll, uh. Go do that now."

He walked out of the room and started down the hall toward the bathroom and promptly tripped over the hall rug, narrowly avoiding a complete face-plant. It was as though inanimate objects were now mocking his inability to get laid, and Jared scowled as he bent to straighten the rug out.

It wasn't his intention to eavesdrop at all, but once he heard Misha say, "Not that I'm questioning your life choices or anything," he couldn't make himself walk away.

"Yeah, because you're always so great about minding your own damn business," Jensen said.

"Right. So, are you sure this thing with Jared is the best idea you've ever had?"

Jensen laughed, and Jared's heart felt stuck in his throat when Jensen said, "No. It's pretty much the dumbest thing I've done in centuries. What's your point?"

"Jensen..."

"I know," Jensen said, sounding more serious this time. "It doesn't have to be a thing, Misha. They don't have to know. I can have this and they don't—It's none of their damn business."

"Right, you should just tell your sister to mind her own business. Why didn't I think of that?"

Jared slumped against the wall, oddly relieved to find out this was an issue with Jensen's family. He realized that in all the time they'd spent together, Jensen hadn't told Jared about them. He wondered if maybe they didn't know he was gay. It would explain Jensen's reticence about getting involved with Jared. Maybe he wanted to make sure it was worth the risk before he came out to them.

"I can manage this," Jensen said.

"And when the shit hits the fan?"

"Come on, man. You couldn't even give me an 'if' there?" Jensen sighed. "When the shit hits the fan, I'll deal with it."

"You like him." It wasn't really a question, but Jared desperately wished he could see what was going on in the pause that followed. Then Misha said, "For the life of me, I can't figure out why. You really do have horrible taste, you know."

"It'll be different this time," Jensen said, but he didn't sound entirely convinced of that.

"I can't talk you out of this, can I?"

While waiting for Jensen's answer, Jared decided that Misha was a complete dick.

Then Misha said, "Don't look at me like that. You know I'll do what I can once you step in it. Don't I always? " And Jared had to at least give him credit for being a good friend to Jensen, no matter how much a dick he otherwise was.

"Thanks," Jensen said, and Jared crept away before they could catch him being all stalkery.

It still took Jensen another fifteen minutes before he joined Jared in his room, already dressed in the pajama pants he left hanging in the bathroom, his jeans and shirt balled up in his hand.

"You forgot the movie," Jared pointed out as Jensen crawled on to the bed.

"Dammit," Jensen said with a grin. "It's all the way in the other room, too."

"Too far to go get now." Jared tilted his head back as Jensen kissed down his throat. "Hey, Jensen?"

Jensen hummed distractedly as he pushed Jared's shirt up, baring his chest and belly to Jensen's mouth.

"I just wanted you to know that I, uh." Jared's mind blanked completely as Jensen kissed his stomach, his fingers teasing at the waistband to Jared's sweats. "I want this," Jared managed after a moment. "What we're doing here. Everything. I want all of it. You." He blinked up at the ceiling, a tendril of dread curling up his spine when Jensen stopped kissing him.

Then Jensen was back, hovering over him, his hands braced on either side of Jared's head. It was one of those rare moments where Jensen seemed completely unsure of himself. After a moment, he settled down against Jared's body, resting on one elbow as he brushed Jared's hair away from his face with his other hand.

"You don't—" Jensen stopped, frowning. "Don't make me any promises, okay?" He sounded worried by the possibility.

"What do you mean?" Jared asked.

"I don't need it, Jared. Whatever happens with us, you don't owe me anything."

"Jensen." Jared moved to sit up, but stopped at Jensen's disapproving frown. "Is everything okay? You know you can tell me stuff, right?"

Jensen's expression slid into a familiar grin. "I know. I just don't want you to feel obligated towards me. Sometimes you don't know the things you'll regret until it's too late. I don't ever want to be one of your regrets, Jared."

"I don't see how that would be possible."

"I know," Jensen said. Then he kissed Jared, slow and deep, effectively ending the conversation for the moment. "You gonna let me have my way with you, Jay?"

"What did you have in mind?" Jared asked, as though the answer had any chance of being something other than, Fuck, yes, anything you want. Just don't stop touching me.

Jensen grinned, sharp and predatory, and tugged at Jared's shirt in lieu of an answer. It was all Jared needed. Any plan of Jensen's that had nudity as a first step had to be a promising one.

Later, as Jared lay curled on his side in post-orgasmic lethargy, he was suddenly reminded of when they were in high school, of thinking that Jensen was too beautiful to be real. It seemed even more true as Jared studied Jensen's profile. He seemed gorgeous and removed from the world, somehow untouchable even as Jared skimmed his fingertips over his arm. Jared wanted to say something to ground them back in reality, he just wasn't sure what. It was too soon for, I love you. That was too big, too scary yet to put out into the world, though there wasn't much use for Jared to deny it in the confines of his own head. I love you, Jared thought. What was a suitable alternative to that?

Before he could come up with anything, Jensen sighed and said, "No promises, Jared. I'm serious."

"Yeah, okay." Jared was unaccountably hurt, and he wondered if Jensen realized that was a promise in and of itself. He fell asleep before he could puzzle out the answer.

In the morning, with Jensen still warm and solid against Jared's side, his fingers still curved protectively over Jared's chest, it didn't really seem so important. Jared made himself all the promises Jensen didn't want to hear and felt suitably satisfied with the compromise.



Near as he was to perfection, Jensen was a little bit odd in more ways than one. For starters, he was not big on sharing personal details. It took some time for Jared to realize that while he knew how Jensen liked his coffee and what his favorite John Hughes movie was, he had no idea if Jensen had any siblings, or how many guys he'd dated before Jared. He wasn't even entirely sure what Jensen was going to school for.

While Jared had sort of figured that Jensen's history of moving around a bunch might make him a little slow to open up, it still bothered him more than he wanted to admit. He wasn't sure what to do to let Jensen know that he could trust him.

"Not everyone likes to say every thought they have at the exact moment they have them," Genevieve had said when Jared mentioned it to her. "Jensen's a private person. It may take him awhile to open up. Give it some time. It's pretty obvious he's crazy about you."

When Jared had mentioned it to Chad, he'd shrugged and said, "It's Jack, man. You can't be that dude and not have some shit to deal with."

Jared didn't bother mentioning it to Misha. They had come to the silent, mutual agreement that they despised each other and limited their interactions as much as possible while living in the same house. At first, Jared thought that Misha might have a thing for Jensen himself, but it didn't read like that at all. Whatever the actual issue was, given the choice between hating Jensen or Misha, Jared was okay with the trade-off.

On the plus side, after their first night together, the rest of the house eased up on their Jared and Jensen patrol. Whether it was because the horse was already out of the barn, so to speak, or they simply realized that the relationship was much better for house harmony than their silent standoff had been, Jared didn't know. Either way he was thankful, and he spent most nights with Jensen, which was comforting in its own way. Whatever secrets Jensen was keeping, he still obviously wanted Jared around.

Jensen's more peculiar qualities weren't limited to interpersonal relationships, however.

"What are you watching?" Jensen asked when he came home in the middle of Genevieve trying to convince Jared that Merlin was the best thing on TV ever.

"The Camelot version of Xena," Jared said. He rubbed his arm and stuck out his tongue when Genevieve punched him.

"Shut up, it's awesome."

"It's..." Jensen trailed off and frowned at the TV. "Merlin?" he finally asked, his expression carefully neutral.

"Watch with us!" Genevieve beamed at him, obviously hoping to get him on her side. Jared had thus far been mocking it non-stop.

Jensen looked like he really wanted to say no, but he sat down next to Jared and watched the rest of the episode, not bothering to add his own commentary despite Jared and Genevieve's chatter. When the show was over, he stood up, declared that the dragon, "should've been female" and walked away without saying anything else.

"What was that about?" Genevieve asked once Jensen's bedroom door had clicked shut.

"He's clearly offended by really bad TV," Jared said, though he didn't have the first clue as to what might've set Jensen off.

When he asked Jensen about it later, Jensen shrugged and looked down. "Just reminded me of an ex."

He looked so bothered by it, Jared chose not to pursue the issue further, despite being wildly curious. It was the first time Jensen had ever mentioned a past relationship, and it was one that clearly hadn't ended well.

Sometimes it felt like the more Jared got to know him, the more of a mystery Jensen became.



Jared wasn't sure what had woken him at first. The clock next to his bed read 2 a.m. and Jared groaned. It had already been one of those nights where he'd woken up a half-dozen times, and he felt more exhausted than he had when he went to bed.

Part of the problem was that, for the first time in weeks, Jared had gone to sleep in his own bed, because Jensen had some sort of something or other to finish. Jensen had been irritatingly vague about what he was doing, only telling Jared that he would be up half the night, and he didn't want to keep Jared up too. Misha, Chad, and Genevieve were gone already, home for Christmas break, but Jared had chosen to stay a few extra days to keep Jensen company. Holidays weren't a big thing with Jensen's family. At least, that's what Jared assumed. Jensen had yet to offer up any actual information on that front.

Just as Jared was about to roll over and go back to sleep, he heard a creak, and the sound of a door opening and closing. It could've been Jensen going to the bathroom, but something felt off enough that Jared decided to get up and check. Maybe he was getting ready to go to bed, and if that was the case, Jared planned to follow him back to his room like a lost puppy. At this point in their relationship, he was okay with that level of neediness.

Only, when Jared checked, Jensen wasn't in the bathroom, or the hallway, or the kitchen, and Jensen's room was dark and empty. When Jared checked the front and back doors, the locks were all fastened, including the chains.

There was a sick feeling in Jared's stomach as he sat down on the living room couch. Jensen wasn't in the house. He'd told Jared to sleep by himself, and he was gone. Jared flipped on the TV to the Cartoon Network and stretched out, vowing to be there and awake whenever Jensen got back. Jensen sucking at sharing was one thing, but sneaking out was something else entirely, and Jared was determined to get to the bottom of it.

Jensen standing over him, holding out a cup of coffee when Jared woke up in his own bed the next morning.

"I wasn't sure you still had your alarm set, so I figured I'd wake you up." Jensen sat on the edge of the bed, setting the coffee cup down on the nightstand. "How did you sleep?"

"I was in the living room." Jared sat up, wiping his hand over his eyes. "Where did you go?" He'd meant to catch Jensen in the act. How had he ended up back in his own room?

"Jared... Were you having a bad dream?" Jensen's expression was curious, a little concerned. He didn't look like someone whose boyfriend had caught him sneaking out at the very least.

"I guess maybe I was," Jared admitted. It did seem strange in the morning light – the house big and empty, with Jared locked in all alone. "I had this dream I woke up in the middle of the night and you were gone."

"Where was I?"

"No idea. I don't know. It was weird."

Jensen smiled as Jared sat up, and reached to hand him his coffee. "See if I let you sleep alone again."

Jared grinned. He wasn't about to object to that. He took a big sip of coffee and groaned in appreciation. It was on the right side of too hot and he could feel the heat spread through his chest, warming him up all over. He took one more sip before setting the cup aside in favor of kissing Jensen good morning.

Jensen tasted cool and clean, and the tip of his nose was cold against Jared's cheek.

When Jared sat back, Jensen was beaming at him, and he looked so ridiculously happy, Jared felt the last of his unease from the night before fade away. "What are you smiling about?"

"That thing I was telling you about." Jensen tugged Jared's covers back enough to crawl into bed with him, snuggling down on top of him like Jared was his own personal body pillow. "I took care of it last night, and it feels really good to have it not hanging over my head anymore."

"Well, we should celebrate, then," Jared said.

"We should."

"Did you have something specific in mind? Because I have a few ideas." Jared ran his hands down over Jensen's ass, laughing when Jensen nuzzled against his neck, hitting a particularly ticklish spot.

"Let me think." Jensen pulled back and rested his chin on Jared's chest as he pretended to consider it. "Well, to start with, I think we should both be naked. Yeah, I'm pretty sure nakedness is going to be involved in any direction this goes."

"Nakedness. I love when your plans involve nakedness." Jared tugged at Jensen's shirt until Jensen moved to pull it completely off. "Tell me more."

"Well, after nakedness happens, I think there should be kissing." Jensen leaned down and kissed along Jared's jaw. "Lots and lots of kissing everywhere. Like I have the entire day to taste every single inch of your skin."

"Sounds good." Jared nodded as Jensen trailed his fingers down over Jared's ribs, somehow avoiding all his ticklish spots this time. "What do we do after that?" His voice sounded rough in his own ears, but Jared didn't bother trying to say anything else when Jensen pulled back to give him a hungry, wolfish grin.

"After that, we fuck until we both forget our own names."

Jared tried to laugh, but it came out sounding suspiciously like a groan. "But then what will we call out when we come?"

"I said until we forget our own names, Jared. There's not a thing in this world or any other that would make me forget yours." Jensen grabbed Jared's arm as Jared reached to run his fingers through Jensen's hair, and kissed the inside of Jared's wrist. Jared wondered if Jensen could feel his pulse pounding against his lips.

"That sounds suspiciously like a promise, Jensen Ackles."

Jensen smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Less talking, more nakedness," he said, sidestepping the issue completely.



By the time spring quarter rolled around, Jared's room had become the place where his stuff was stored and they were talking about renting it out to someone else next year, which would make everyone's rent a little bit cheaper.

Jared had decided to stay in town over the summer and get a job there, with the hopes that it might carry into the next school year, as opposed to going home and trying to find something temporary. The fact that Jensen would be there over the summer too was just an awesome bonus. Misha, Chad, and Genevieve were all staying as well, which was less awesome, but Jared didn't mind too much. They were sort of like a little family by that point and, after a few days, the novelty of them being gone would've worn off anyway.

All in all, Jared was looking forward to summer. Things with Jensen were good, and if he wasn't quite at the sharing and caring level Jared had been hoping for, he made up for it in other ways, some of them quite delightfully filthy.

Then all of the sudden in the middle of June, Jensen started acting shifty again. He was preoccupied and distant in a way that set Jared on-edge. When, after a few days he suggested that Jared ought to sleep in his room for a night or two, Jared agreed without protest, and went about getting ready for bed like normal. He went to his room and turned off the light, and then he waited.

Staying awake wasn't the easiest thing Jared had ever done, and he drifted off more than once. But sure enough, a little before two, he heard the door to Jensen's bedroom open, and he crept out of bed, pressing his ear against the door to try and discern Jensen's movements. When he heard another telltale click, he opened his own door, reasonably sure of where Jensen went this time.

Jared shoved his shoes on and grabbed his hoodie and flashlight before going out into the kitchen. Sure enough, the door to the basement was unlocked. There wasn't anything down there except the freezer, the washer and dryer, and an outside door. Jared felt stupid for not thinking of it sooner.

The wooden stairs creaked under Jared's weight, and he wondered if Jensen had heard him, or if he was already gone. Despite the renovations done to the rest of the house, the basement remained unfinished and, quite frankly, a little creepy. Once he reached the bottom step, Jared clicked on his flashlight and turned it towards the door that led outside, only to find that it was still blocked shut from the inside.

"Jensen?" Jared called softly. There was a faint rustling sound coming from the back of the basement, where the crawlspace was, but no actual answer. Jared started back that way, walking slowly. His flashlight only illuminated the area immediately in front of him, and he wasn't particularly fond of that corner of the basement during the day.

The sound got louder once Jared reached the crawlspace and he could feel a faint breeze coming from the other side. He figured maybe it let out under the front porch or something, but he really had no idea.

"Dammit, Jensen. If this is some sort of joke..." Jared zipped up sweatshirt and pulled the hood over his head to guard against spiders. He stuck his flashlight in his mouth and with one deep breath, climbed blindly into the crawlspace.

It was dirt on all sides of Jared, and he could feel it pressing against his shoulders as he moved forward. The space wasn't big, and it didn't take long for Jared to start feeling claustrophobic as he inched forward. He couldn't tell how long the passage was, but it could only go so far before it ran out of house, he reasoned. It wasn't sloped down, so he would eventually come to the other side.

As it so happened, he nearly fell flat on his face when he did. He went to put his hand down and there was nothing there. Jared grabbed the flashlight, which had been pointing uselessly downward and aimed it out in front of him.

The tunnel sloped away into... Grass? Jared scrambled out of the crawlspace and stood, thinking too late to watch for beams. Except there weren't any. When Jared looked up, there was nothing but the clear expanse of the night sky above him. But he wasn't in their yard.

Where the hell am I?

There was a path in front of him that led off into a forest, and if Jensen was here, Jared figured that's where he'd be. There was nothing else around, only the forest in front of him and the tunnel behind him, which appeared to lead into a hill. The house was nowhere in sight. "Right. Okay then."

Jared had come this far, he figured he might as well head into the creepy forest. Except the forest wasn't really all that creepy. It was unnaturally silent, save for the rustle of the leaves as the wind swept through the trees, but the moon was bright overhead and the branches never grew thick enough to block out the light.

Eventually the path grew wider and the forest seemed to get lighter, though Jared knew morning was still a ways off. As he looked around, he realized it was brighter because the trees there were a shimmering silver. Every leaf looked like a delicate, intricate piece of art, and Jared plucked one off a low-hanging branch to have a closer look.

It was, in fact, a silver leaf, reflecting the light from Jared's flashlight as he turned it this way and that. Jared laughed and stuck it in his pocket, now convinced that he was trapped in a pretty fantastical dream world. He'd read this story before.

Sure enough, as Jared continued down the path, the trees gradually changed from silver to gold, which then gave way to glittering diamonds. Jared dutifully collected twigs from each, tucking them in the pocket of his sweatshirt.

After that, the trees turned back into regular trees, but the silence was gone. Jared could hear nocturnal animals skittering about and in the distance, he though he could make out music being played. He hurried toward the sound, reminded that this dream had started off as a quest for Jensen.

Jared followed the music as it grew louder until he came to the edge of the forest to find a seven-foot manicured hedge. It was a maze, Jared realized, and he ducked into it without giving it too much thought, navigating the paths and turns on instinct. He could hear people talking now, laughter and music, like some sort of party, and his need to find Jensen felt more urgent the closer he got.

There was a gap in the hedges in front of him, and Jared slowed down, wary of what he'd find on the other side. He peeked around the edge to find that it opened out into a courtyard, decorated with flowers and lanterns. There were a few dancers, and little clusters of people talking, but Jared couldn't find the source of the music.

Directly ahead of him, across the courtyard, the ground rose, and a woman sat on a throne covered with flowers. Her age was difficult to determine, though she looked rather young, with golden brown hair that fell around her shoulders in waves and bright green eyes. Her features were delicate, making her almost childishly pretty if not for the severe expression she wore as she watched the festivities. One by one, the people started to notice her disapproval and the chatter died down.

"Jensen," the woman finally said, and Jared was startled to realize that Jensen was there, kneeling before her, a dark cloak wrapped around his shoulders.

"Your majesty," Jensen said. His voice was soft, but it carried well enough back to where Jared was.

"I've heard some unsettling reports on your activities. Do you care to defend yourself?"

Jensen raised his head and after a moment he replied, "My activities are not worthy of your note, Majesty."

The woman narrowed her eyes. "Have you not taken a lover, then?"

It seemed as though Jensen's back got straighter and there was a noticeable pause before he answered. "It's not a relationship of any import. He's made no pledges to me, he's not bound."

"I disagree," the woman said. She looked up suddenly, her eyes locking with Jared's. "I think his following you into our realm signifies a very real bond."

Jared was frozen in place as everyone, seeing the direction of the woman's gaze, turned to look at him. Jensen was the last, still on his knees as he slowly twisted around. He slumped back when he spotted Jared and said, "Aw, shit."